Dear UK travellers,
Please visit Australia. We are a friendly bunch, with a continent full of unique wonders, and you get an embarrassingly fabulous exchange rate on your money.
Contrary to our Govt’s silly marketing, most Australians do not have “plastic” faces with collagen lips and botox smiles, but do expect a laugh and a cheeky grin under a layer of sunscreen.
Please also bring any mates who don’t speak English – modern Australia was made by millions of migrants from across the world, and an ancient Indigenous culture. Besides, interpreters can be handy as many of the most popular dishes in our world array of eateries have foreign names.
You won’t miss out on your favorite British breakfast tea but be prepared for arguably the best barista coffee outside of the Mediterranean.
Oh, do you like good wine and cold beer?
Behold: My little Jack Russell, Ruby, shows her “death hold” and “killer shake” – on a squeaky toy. Let soft, squeaky toys everywhere be warned …
(My dogs: why, as a traveller, I always look forward to going home)
We may come in different shapes and colours, but inside all are nourishing and nice.
– Vung Tau, Vietnam
“I’m blissfully not addicted to other peoples’ opinions.”
I choose where I go, and enjoy what I choose. 🤠
The pastry is a good, solid base, with a thin, flaky, spicy top. The curiously colored insides could well have sprung from the pages of a Mary Shelley novel. Only $5 at 7Eleven and, like skydiving, sub aqua coitus and raw scallops in Fiji, it is an experience best had only once in a lifetime…
Phnom Penh dispatches: Not unlike an Alabama catfish that’s been stunned numb and dumb by an electric eel, I’ve been thoroughly “therapied” by a blind massage therapist; my lumbar osteoarthritis pummelled into submission. Kneaded and prodded like Topolino’s pizza dough. Therapists obviously have varying degrees of blindness: one bloke has a flash Rolex wristwatch, and I catch my therapist with one hand working my arm while the other is checking messages on her mobile phone. $US7 an hour (for foreigners) and well worth it…
I have been banging on for at least 5 years, about the huge flaw in travel websites such as Tripadvisor: they are too open to manipulation. See the newdaily.com report: https://thenewdaily.com.au/money/consumer/2018/07/31/meriton-penalty-misleading-tripadvisor/
Halal Sample Pack for just $6.90. I could waffle on about the subtle mint yoghurt languidly counterbalancing the sharp, spicy sauce but, hey, this is just Lord of the Kebab in Fitzroy Street, St Kilda. Home Affairs Minister Peter Dutton, join us for a halal lunch…
“Hey, I’m packed and ready to go.” My son is having a break in sunny Darwin and left his cat, Bubbles, behind with me in Melbourne. Bubbles has taken up residence in my travel backpack…
Coming home to these two. Doesn’t it feel good to be wanted? Travel helps us to appreciate other cultures and what we have at home…